Stumbling blocks already

Thanks to everyone who has been reading these blogs and keeping up with my progress. It’s definitely helping to keep me on track.

Losing one to two pounds a week is mentally more difficult for me than I had thought it would be. It’s nice to be able to eat more but control seems to be more of an issue for me now. Obviously, I can’t be trusted with food. I have made poor decisions my entire life. So, being able to eat more is a bit like telling an alcoholic that they can have an occasional beer. Food is an addiction for me and it is everywhere. The most accessible food is usually the worst for you.
When I have lost weight in the past I drew clear lines and knew exactly what I could eat. If it wasn’t on the list, I didn’t eat it. Simple, right? The problem is that it’s not practical. It won’t last in the long run. I know that the slow approach to weight loss is the best approach. It’s just hard to tell when I am crossing the line sometimes.

This weekend was a perfect example. Even though I allow myself to eat more liberally on the weekend, I look back and see that I clearly crossed the line with some of the choices I made. We went to the Dave Matthews Concert in Des Moines and made a mini vacation out of it. The problem was that it carried over from Friday to Sunday and that should not have happened. All I can do now is get right back on the horse and back to smart choices. Were it not for this blog and the “brotherhood of the traveling shirt”, I’m guessing this would have carried over for weeks or months until I was right back to 270 lbs or more.

Overall, I still feel really good about the choice to lose weight slowly. It takes my mind off the number on the scale and helps me focus on things I want to accomplish. I think more about how I want to live my life rather than hitting a magic number on the scale. I had the chance to catch up with Matt Hoover when we were in the studio on Friday. Matt has helped me realize that there is no storybook ending to weight loss. Matt won one of the biggest reality show contests and is known all over the world. He really put himself in the public eye. Guess what, he still struggles with healthy choices and weight issues every day. At home, we just see that the confetti drops and think the Biggest Loser goes on to living a perfect, healthy life. Well, if Matt still struggles, I know I will too.

So, I have taken the focus off the end number and have been thinking more about day to day decisions that will carry over and add up to big changes over time. These changes are for me and for my family. My son will have enough to worry about in his life. I don’t need to add to his future stress by teaching him my bad eating habits. I still use the scale everyday and plan on checking my measurements every couple of months. As long as the number is going down, I know I’m moving in the right direction.

I’m also anticipating a new challenge over the next couple of months. We are going to be on a tight financial budget. I’m looking to eat for as little money as possible over the next month or two. If anyone has suggestions for cheap and healthy meals that are also quick and easy to prepare, please let me know.