Spinning my wheels

It’s been a tough couple of months on the weight loss front for me. I’ve been overtaken by life again and haven’t done a very good job lately. The tides have slowly turned to eating more and moving less which, of course, is the opposite of my goal.

I think I can trace it back to the beginning of June when I overdid it a bit during the Relay for Life. I found out about a week later that I have plantar fasciitis. I’ve battled sore feet for a while but this was different. This pain wouldn’t go away. That took me out of my new rhythm of walking every day to burn some extra calories. In the meantime, I started eating a little more and slipped back into more of an “all or nothing” mentality for a while.

Since then, I’ve had good days and bad days. Commonly, I find that I can be good all day and then blow it at night. Or, I start off on the wrong foot by giving in to some workplace treats that my coworkers bring in. My latest excuse was today, for my birthday. Talk about a tough day to get back on track! My son’s birthday is coming up later this week too. I’ve got to start planning for Murphy’s Law as I commonly advise others to do.

The good news is that I’ve been doing enough to maintain my weight. My weight has fluctuated between 221 and 226 (back and forth a couple of times) over the last two months since choosing Jason as the newest recipient of the traveling shirt. It’s a far cry from the 270 lbs. I started at but every pound closer to my old weight is unacceptable at this point. I think the magic in the shirt was really the accountability to Schulte and Swann in the morning. The shirt reminded me that I was accountable and would be back in the studio for an update every month or so. I’ve been trying to spark something similar with other personal goals but obviously haven’t been able to find something that really works yet. The way I’ve been living should be perfect to maintain a healthy weight but I’m far from that point. I still have a lot of work to do.

It stinks that I have a few pounds to lose just to get back to the point when I turned over the shirt. Sure, it's weight I can easily lose in a week or two by redirecting byself. But, even if I had just lost a pound a week in June and July, I should be down to 213 by now. I can’t dwell on this either though. That kind of thinking just makes me want to get a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and say “oh well, I’ll start tomorrow. -or- As long as I’m up a few pounds, what’s one more?” I’ve been in and out of that mindset for the last two months, so much that I’ve been too embarrassed to write a new blog entry. Each time I thought about writing something like this, I would stop and tell myself that I can quickly catch up and write something more positive later. Today I decided that it’s more important to publicly admit my detour than pretending like nothing happened. Sure, I could bust my butt and drop some pounds quickly. Most people probably wouldn’t notice either way. I know I’m not alone in this and that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about even though it does feel quite embarrassing to admit.

I’m going to try to chalk this up as a “summer vacation” from my weight loss track and start right now as yet another new beginning. Hopefully my next post will be a more positive one to report some good progress!

Forgetting about a finish line...

I made the announcement on Schulte and Swan’s morning show that I am ready to pass the shirt on to the next person. The announcement was made this past Friday. Although I am still a ways away from a comfortable healthy weight, I have reached a point where I don’t need the shirt anymore. The shirt has been a wonderful thing to have. It was more of a security blanket than a garment. In fact, I only wore the thing twice. Instead, I hung it on the mirror I use every morning to remind me of my public pledge to lose weight. Now I have more energy and motivation than ever.

I have been reluctant to give up the shirt and my time as the “brother of the moment” because I kept thinking that the finish line is still a ways away. I have now lost 47 lbs since I first appeared on Schulte and Swan’s show. I would still like to lose another 25-30 lbs before I would like to just maintain a weight. The important thing I have learned by losing weight slowly is that there really is no finish line. Yes, there is a number I’d like to hit and there is a weight range I would like to stay within, but there is no end to keeping a healthier mindset.
In the past, I have looked at weight loss goals strictly from a number standpoint. In earlier blogs I have mentioned how I have seen many people, including myself, struggle after losing a lot of weight. Personally, I think it is because while I have deprived myself of certain food and drink, I really thought that after a certain number hits on the scale that I could ease up and start eating like a horse again. Losing weight slowly has allowed me more freedom in not having to totally give up foods I love. Now I know that no matter what the scale says, I will still have to make smart decisions every day for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy a beer from time to time or a cheeseburger. It just means that I have to know my limits and keep myself in check. I know it’s harder than it sounds. I will no doubt continue to struggle, but I really think I can continue to lose weight with the help of family and friends including the new friends I have made at KZIA.

So, if you are someone who is ready to put yourself out there to publicly lose weight. Please email Clare, the morning show producer at KZIA. Her email is clare@kzia.com. We’ve already received some emails of people who are interested and will be passing the shirt to the next brother on Friday. If you decide to be the next holder of the shirt, you can lose weight in any way you choose. We’ll be there for support and advice if you need.

Thanks again to everyone for your words of encouragement. It has been great so far!

Getting there...

I took a walk this evening with my wife and son. Nearly half of the time, I carried my son on my shoulders. As time went on, I realized that his weight roughly equals the 40 pounds I have lost since beginning the Traveling Shirt challenge with Schulte and Swann. It was a motivating moment in two respects: 1) It helped me realize that I used to carry that much weight everywhere I went. 2) I’m still only about half way to my overall goal. That means I still have that much farther to go. As I lift him off my shoulders to let him walk some on his own, I can instantly see what it feels like to be free of 40 lbs. In an instant, I felt lighter and refreshed. It’s easy in a moment like that to look ahead to what it will be like to finally be like to be rid of the rest of my excess weight.

I’m at a typical point where I start to feel good and go back the other way. Over the last few months I have had good weeks and bad. The good have outshined the bad so far and I’m trying to keep motivated. Basically, I have just tried to stick to the basics: eat less and move more. Little by little, I’m getting there. It’s not as exciting as watching the quick and dramatic transformations that we see on infomercials or on shows like the Biggest Loser. Hopefully the more gradual changes I have made are becoming engrained in me and will be sustainable over time.

Thanks for checking in!

Denial

It’s no accident that it has been a long time since my last post. I really let things go over the last few weeks. I started by blaming some poor eating choices on the holidays and the awful weather we had in December. You’d think that after my last post that I would have learned from previous mistakes. Obviously this is not the case. I simply lost control yet again.

It starts simply…an extra portion with dinner or a holiday treat. I notice that even after a few days of poor choices that my weight didn’t really fluctuate. So, I don’t see the need to ditch my carefree diet. Even after a couple of weeks things still feel manageable. I tell myself, “I can take off a few extra pounds quickly if need be” and “I’ll get started on that next week.” Each new week brings a lackluster attempt on Monday that is quickly foiled by a co-workers invitation to lunch or some unexpected stressful event. It seems like I should be able to jump right back into the groove but proves to be very difficult.

Once again today I began a Monday with high hopes of making smart choices. I’m proud of the decisions I made today. One whole day back on track! For now, that’s enough. All I can do next is try to do it again tomorrow and again on the next day. Hopefully I’ll be able to string them together and have more good days than bad. Writing this blog has helped me see that I often have what I think to be life changing revelations. As soon as I think I have things figured out, something changes or slips a little and takes me off course again. I guess I’m saying that I have learned my lesson enough this time to know that I probably haven’t actually learned my lesson at all yet.

The Monster Within

It has been 3 months since I agreed to participate in Schulte and Swann’s “Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirt.” Overall, everything has been going well. I have lost 29 lbs in 3 months. The first 12 came off in two weeks. After that, I’ve been averaging about 1.5 pounds per week. If you have been following along, you’ll know that I have chosen to lose weight slowly in hopes of keeping it off long term.

After 3 months, you’d think that I would be well adapted to my new lifestyle of smarter eating. Again, overall I think this is the case, but this weekend I learned that old habits die hard and that I’m still capable of diving right back into them. My wife and I had some time to ourselves this weekend because my parents wanted to spend some time with our son. With 24 hours of unusual freedom, we decided to have some fun starting with watching the Iowa vs. Ohio State game at a local bar with some friends. All it took for me was a few beers and my old 270 pound self took over. We went from the local bar to a restaurant for dinner and then to a movie. I ate and drank without a care for the night and ended up feeling stuffed and bloated by the end of the night. It wasn’t until today that I entered everything I consumed into a calorie calculator. It was even worse than I expected. Even after a sensible lunch and breakfast, I found that I ate and drank almost 5,000 calories for the day! I felt terrible this morning. Although I had a great time, it was certainly not worth more than doubling the amount of food I need in a day.

I also noticed that I craved food all day today and couldn’t get satisfied with what has been a satisfying amount of food for me any other day. I also have noticed urges for food that I haven’t had in a while. It feels like a genuine addiction problem. If you think of the old metaphor of the devil and the angel on your shoulder, this weekend I feel like I’ve only had devils on my shoulders. I didn’t go as overboard today but I had a little more than I should have had. Stepping back I can see what’s happening. I can also see that this is the point where I would usually fall more and more into old habits until I’m right back to square one.


I was in the KZIA studio with Scott, Ric and Matt Hoover on Friday talking about this very thing. Now that I have lost a little weight and it is starting to show, people are starting to compliment me. With the compliments comes some complacence. I start to feel like things are under control and that I can celebrate a little. Even though I am aware of it enough to talk about it on the radio in front of thousands of people, apparently I’m still blind enough to think that I wasn’t affected by it. That is, until I was slapped directly in the face by it this weekend.

It’s going to be a tough week and I have no one to blame but myself. I’m sure I’ll be craving more food than usual because of the unusual amount that I had this weekend. I am more thankful than ever that I wrote that simple email to KZIA a few months ago. Without this public accountability I would probably have severely fallen off track by now. I have also been faithfully wearing my Gruve device to track my calorie burn. It is a huge help too. It constantly reminds me to get off my butt. I’m not sure who first said it, but simply put, it helps remind me to “eat less and move more.” It sounds so simple doesn’t it? Eat less. Move more. I botched that whole concept this weekend but I can’t let it drag me down. I’m putting things right back in motion.

Thanks again to KZIA, Matt Hoover, Muve Inc, Jane Jakobsen, the Mac, my friends and family and everyone else who has been following along. If you are someone who has struggled with some of these same things, I can’t say enough about some sort of large scale accountability. I can see that no matter how focused I am on any given day, the 270 pound monster in me will always want to come out. Thanks for helping me keep the monster in check!

Halloween Candy on 10/15????

I've been struggling lately with the little things adding up. I can see that I'm slowly adding more and more food to my daily routine and have to really keep that in check. I mentioned in my last entry that the next couple of months would be tight in the finance area for me. This is making it harder to pass up the "free" goodies around the office. It seems like there is always some event going on where people are bringing in massive amounts of pastries, candy and other sweets.

I think that once October hits and the huge bags of candy go on sale, people lose their minds. I'm usually guilty of the same thing. People buy a big bag of candy weeks before Halloween with good intentions to save it for the big day. Temptation sets in and the bag is opened way too soon. Then, after overindulging for a day or two some people come to their senses and want to get rid of that candy. Where does it end up? Strategically placed by the offender in a high traffic area of the office. It's placed with love but also intended for your coworkers to share in the same decadent misery you experienced. There is still a couple of weeks before Halloween but from the amount of candy in my office building, you would think that it was a month long event.

I started last week by grabbing one of the "fun size" bars a day as a little treat around mid day. Then it became two. Today, I think I had three along with a half of a cookie that was literally on a silver platter and waived in my face. I really believe that no food is inherently evil. Anything should be okay in moderation. While I think that it is important not to completely deprive myself of any certain food, it's tough to draw a line without completely cutting things out.

Hopefully, now that I have taken the time to write this out, I will do better tomorrow and each day after. Although, I can't promise anything for November 1st!

Stumbling blocks already

Thanks to everyone who has been reading these blogs and keeping up with my progress. It’s definitely helping to keep me on track.

Losing one to two pounds a week is mentally more difficult for me than I had thought it would be. It’s nice to be able to eat more but control seems to be more of an issue for me now. Obviously, I can’t be trusted with food. I have made poor decisions my entire life. So, being able to eat more is a bit like telling an alcoholic that they can have an occasional beer. Food is an addiction for me and it is everywhere. The most accessible food is usually the worst for you.
When I have lost weight in the past I drew clear lines and knew exactly what I could eat. If it wasn’t on the list, I didn’t eat it. Simple, right? The problem is that it’s not practical. It won’t last in the long run. I know that the slow approach to weight loss is the best approach. It’s just hard to tell when I am crossing the line sometimes.

This weekend was a perfect example. Even though I allow myself to eat more liberally on the weekend, I look back and see that I clearly crossed the line with some of the choices I made. We went to the Dave Matthews Concert in Des Moines and made a mini vacation out of it. The problem was that it carried over from Friday to Sunday and that should not have happened. All I can do now is get right back on the horse and back to smart choices. Were it not for this blog and the “brotherhood of the traveling shirt”, I’m guessing this would have carried over for weeks or months until I was right back to 270 lbs or more.

Overall, I still feel really good about the choice to lose weight slowly. It takes my mind off the number on the scale and helps me focus on things I want to accomplish. I think more about how I want to live my life rather than hitting a magic number on the scale. I had the chance to catch up with Matt Hoover when we were in the studio on Friday. Matt has helped me realize that there is no storybook ending to weight loss. Matt won one of the biggest reality show contests and is known all over the world. He really put himself in the public eye. Guess what, he still struggles with healthy choices and weight issues every day. At home, we just see that the confetti drops and think the Biggest Loser goes on to living a perfect, healthy life. Well, if Matt still struggles, I know I will too.

So, I have taken the focus off the end number and have been thinking more about day to day decisions that will carry over and add up to big changes over time. These changes are for me and for my family. My son will have enough to worry about in his life. I don’t need to add to his future stress by teaching him my bad eating habits. I still use the scale everyday and plan on checking my measurements every couple of months. As long as the number is going down, I know I’m moving in the right direction.

I’m also anticipating a new challenge over the next couple of months. We are going to be on a tight financial budget. I’m looking to eat for as little money as possible over the next month or two. If anyone has suggestions for cheap and healthy meals that are also quick and easy to prepare, please let me know.