Spinning my wheels

It’s been a tough couple of months on the weight loss front for me. I’ve been overtaken by life again and haven’t done a very good job lately. The tides have slowly turned to eating more and moving less which, of course, is the opposite of my goal.

I think I can trace it back to the beginning of June when I overdid it a bit during the Relay for Life. I found out about a week later that I have plantar fasciitis. I’ve battled sore feet for a while but this was different. This pain wouldn’t go away. That took me out of my new rhythm of walking every day to burn some extra calories. In the meantime, I started eating a little more and slipped back into more of an “all or nothing” mentality for a while.

Since then, I’ve had good days and bad days. Commonly, I find that I can be good all day and then blow it at night. Or, I start off on the wrong foot by giving in to some workplace treats that my coworkers bring in. My latest excuse was today, for my birthday. Talk about a tough day to get back on track! My son’s birthday is coming up later this week too. I’ve got to start planning for Murphy’s Law as I commonly advise others to do.

The good news is that I’ve been doing enough to maintain my weight. My weight has fluctuated between 221 and 226 (back and forth a couple of times) over the last two months since choosing Jason as the newest recipient of the traveling shirt. It’s a far cry from the 270 lbs. I started at but every pound closer to my old weight is unacceptable at this point. I think the magic in the shirt was really the accountability to Schulte and Swann in the morning. The shirt reminded me that I was accountable and would be back in the studio for an update every month or so. I’ve been trying to spark something similar with other personal goals but obviously haven’t been able to find something that really works yet. The way I’ve been living should be perfect to maintain a healthy weight but I’m far from that point. I still have a lot of work to do.

It stinks that I have a few pounds to lose just to get back to the point when I turned over the shirt. Sure, it's weight I can easily lose in a week or two by redirecting byself. But, even if I had just lost a pound a week in June and July, I should be down to 213 by now. I can’t dwell on this either though. That kind of thinking just makes me want to get a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and say “oh well, I’ll start tomorrow. -or- As long as I’m up a few pounds, what’s one more?” I’ve been in and out of that mindset for the last two months, so much that I’ve been too embarrassed to write a new blog entry. Each time I thought about writing something like this, I would stop and tell myself that I can quickly catch up and write something more positive later. Today I decided that it’s more important to publicly admit my detour than pretending like nothing happened. Sure, I could bust my butt and drop some pounds quickly. Most people probably wouldn’t notice either way. I know I’m not alone in this and that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about even though it does feel quite embarrassing to admit.

I’m going to try to chalk this up as a “summer vacation” from my weight loss track and start right now as yet another new beginning. Hopefully my next post will be a more positive one to report some good progress!

Forgetting about a finish line...

I made the announcement on Schulte and Swan’s morning show that I am ready to pass the shirt on to the next person. The announcement was made this past Friday. Although I am still a ways away from a comfortable healthy weight, I have reached a point where I don’t need the shirt anymore. The shirt has been a wonderful thing to have. It was more of a security blanket than a garment. In fact, I only wore the thing twice. Instead, I hung it on the mirror I use every morning to remind me of my public pledge to lose weight. Now I have more energy and motivation than ever.

I have been reluctant to give up the shirt and my time as the “brother of the moment” because I kept thinking that the finish line is still a ways away. I have now lost 47 lbs since I first appeared on Schulte and Swan’s show. I would still like to lose another 25-30 lbs before I would like to just maintain a weight. The important thing I have learned by losing weight slowly is that there really is no finish line. Yes, there is a number I’d like to hit and there is a weight range I would like to stay within, but there is no end to keeping a healthier mindset.
In the past, I have looked at weight loss goals strictly from a number standpoint. In earlier blogs I have mentioned how I have seen many people, including myself, struggle after losing a lot of weight. Personally, I think it is because while I have deprived myself of certain food and drink, I really thought that after a certain number hits on the scale that I could ease up and start eating like a horse again. Losing weight slowly has allowed me more freedom in not having to totally give up foods I love. Now I know that no matter what the scale says, I will still have to make smart decisions every day for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy a beer from time to time or a cheeseburger. It just means that I have to know my limits and keep myself in check. I know it’s harder than it sounds. I will no doubt continue to struggle, but I really think I can continue to lose weight with the help of family and friends including the new friends I have made at KZIA.

So, if you are someone who is ready to put yourself out there to publicly lose weight. Please email Clare, the morning show producer at KZIA. Her email is clare@kzia.com. We’ve already received some emails of people who are interested and will be passing the shirt to the next brother on Friday. If you decide to be the next holder of the shirt, you can lose weight in any way you choose. We’ll be there for support and advice if you need.

Thanks again to everyone for your words of encouragement. It has been great so far!

Getting there...

I took a walk this evening with my wife and son. Nearly half of the time, I carried my son on my shoulders. As time went on, I realized that his weight roughly equals the 40 pounds I have lost since beginning the Traveling Shirt challenge with Schulte and Swann. It was a motivating moment in two respects: 1) It helped me realize that I used to carry that much weight everywhere I went. 2) I’m still only about half way to my overall goal. That means I still have that much farther to go. As I lift him off my shoulders to let him walk some on his own, I can instantly see what it feels like to be free of 40 lbs. In an instant, I felt lighter and refreshed. It’s easy in a moment like that to look ahead to what it will be like to finally be like to be rid of the rest of my excess weight.

I’m at a typical point where I start to feel good and go back the other way. Over the last few months I have had good weeks and bad. The good have outshined the bad so far and I’m trying to keep motivated. Basically, I have just tried to stick to the basics: eat less and move more. Little by little, I’m getting there. It’s not as exciting as watching the quick and dramatic transformations that we see on infomercials or on shows like the Biggest Loser. Hopefully the more gradual changes I have made are becoming engrained in me and will be sustainable over time.

Thanks for checking in!

Denial

It’s no accident that it has been a long time since my last post. I really let things go over the last few weeks. I started by blaming some poor eating choices on the holidays and the awful weather we had in December. You’d think that after my last post that I would have learned from previous mistakes. Obviously this is not the case. I simply lost control yet again.

It starts simply…an extra portion with dinner or a holiday treat. I notice that even after a few days of poor choices that my weight didn’t really fluctuate. So, I don’t see the need to ditch my carefree diet. Even after a couple of weeks things still feel manageable. I tell myself, “I can take off a few extra pounds quickly if need be” and “I’ll get started on that next week.” Each new week brings a lackluster attempt on Monday that is quickly foiled by a co-workers invitation to lunch or some unexpected stressful event. It seems like I should be able to jump right back into the groove but proves to be very difficult.

Once again today I began a Monday with high hopes of making smart choices. I’m proud of the decisions I made today. One whole day back on track! For now, that’s enough. All I can do next is try to do it again tomorrow and again on the next day. Hopefully I’ll be able to string them together and have more good days than bad. Writing this blog has helped me see that I often have what I think to be life changing revelations. As soon as I think I have things figured out, something changes or slips a little and takes me off course again. I guess I’m saying that I have learned my lesson enough this time to know that I probably haven’t actually learned my lesson at all yet.